GENDER ENGLISH TRANSLATION
Have you ever wondered just what the difference is between men and women?
Here is some insight into just how they think.
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is that all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going
to like.
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he falls
asleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is important.
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an idiot.
MEN'S ENGLISH:
"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.
"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.
"I'm tired" = I'm tired.
"I'm ready" = I'm ready.
"Nice dress!" = How much did you spend?!
"What's wrong?" = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this.
"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are
you going through now?
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much
different!
"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep
person when I'm really not paying much attention.
(while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any dress and let's go
home!
"I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together." = I am gay.
Submitted by: Katherine Cornell (a.k.a. Devotd2JC)
Inspirations Prayer Ministry: http://www.watchman.net/inspirations
Home Page: http://www.gate.net/~vigrafix